And the problem was...

After thinking long and hard about every aspect of the previously mentioned Friday night I have come to the following conclusion of where the problem occured.
After the open bar ended at 10 I received a party. They are regulars that come in every week and I adore them. They are polite and easy to care for as well as being organized. If I come by to check on them they make sure everyone hears me speaking and asks for what they need at once. They never play run the server. Being that these are great customers that come in every week with a group of 10 to 35 people we do our best to take care of them quickly and efficiently.
Most of the people from the party were hanging around waiting to hear the outcome of the 15 item raffle. While the numbers were being read off the group crowded around the server well at the bar and at the server station where we keep napkins, silverware, and our personal items like purses and coats. This area is obviously not someplace a customer should be standing. The way the Bar is set up, a server walks through the server station to reach the server well at the bar. Needless to say, this group was in my way. Usually I let people know they should not be standing in the server areas, but I was too busy at that point to say anything so I simply worked around them. On my way to the server well I said "excuse me" loud enough to be heard. On my way back through with a full try of drinks I felt the need to speak a bit louder since they had their backs to me. I have had people back up into me and spill an entire tray mostly on me, breaking glasses and wasting time, and wanted to avoid this happening then. Several times the men standing in my way apologized and I gave them a cheerful "it's OK" as I walked off. I usually don't get that much from customers. It's nice when they are polite and realize that you are trying to do your job. At some point I also had to disturb the ladies standing at the server station and using it as a table so I could reach the silverware and napkins needed by my customers. One of the women was the wife of the man running the party.
I believe that the wife complained that I was rude because of all the loud excuse me's and making her move when I needed to retrieve items from where she was standing. Also, I don't doubt that after the twelfth time having to say excuse me to the group I was no longer smiling idiotically. By no means was I rude, but to a self-important woman I guess it would be seen as rude for someone like me, a mere server, to ask her to move. I treated them no differently than I have people in the past.
Women customers sure can suck.

Strange Day

I picked up a Sunday bartending shift. There were no good sports games on and it was brutally cold so business was...not really there. I served about 25 people in hours. I worked with the same manager that gave me the talk the day before so I was a little uncomfortable starting off the day. My worries were unfounded as he treated me no different than he had before the talk.
At the end of the day we were missing two credit card receipts. I remembered the tip amount on one of them but not on another. I ended up losing the tip since we couldn't find the receipt. When I got home I remembered the amount was $11. The transaction had been closed before I left so I couldn't get the tip later.
The strangest thing about the day happened when the owner came in to talk to the manager. It's a family business and this is not an unusual thing. I chit chatted with his wife for a minute. She commented about it being slow and I told her that it had been that way all day. Later, as I was walking by where they were sitting, Jerry (the manager) handed me a ten dollar bill and said it was from the owner. Stunned, I said thank you and asked what it was for. Jerry said "It's a long story" and the owner said "Because you're a nice girl."
Whatever the reason for it, I don't think I have to worry about the talk anymore. It's not every day the owner hands money to an employee and tells them they are a "nice girl." Beyond that, I felt appreciated and that is one of the best feelings an employee can get from an employer.
What a mind f*ck of a weekend.

Bring me to Tears

It's Friday night and there is an open bar party. This event was scheduled over a month ago, but I found out about it the weekend prior when another server told me she would be working with me Friday. I was surprised and felt a little sour about the management not telling me since they had known for so long.
The party is scheduled for 7 and will run for 3 hours. I don't know if the house was including a tip for me and Kate. Kate arrives at work at 6 and we try to work out a plan of attack for the party. Since we don't know how many there will be or which side of the bar they will be at we decide to play it by ear. There could be as many as 150 people!
The party begins to arrive at 7. Kate takes the first round of drink orders while I continue to care for the few dinner customers we have. Kate lets me know after delivering the first round that she did not receive a tip. We laugh it off and try to make a joke about it. By 8 the dinner tables have left and Kate and I are both caring for the party. Kate quickly figures out which tables are tipping and only serves them. This leaves me with the tables that are not tipping. I take it in stride, making jokes with Kate and the bartenders about how I am not making any tips. It is, after all, my job to serve customers whether they tip me or not. When the party is over I have made $2.
Kate leaves as soon as the party is over and I am on my own. Most of the party-goers have left and the remaining people are paying cash and have begun to tip. Go figure. With every tip I receive I give a big smile and a genuine thank you.

The next day I am scheduled to work the bar. When my manager gets in I let him know how the party went. I told him I made $2 and that we had to turn away several tables that came in for dinner because we had no seating. I suggested that next time we reserve a few tables so we can still seat customers.

About an hour into the day my manager asks to speak to me. I stepped iff to the side with him and he starts.
"I had a couple of complaints about you from the party last night."
"Really?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"The guy in charge said that he had people from the party coming up to him telling him that you were really rude. They said that you were complaining about not making any tips and that you had an attitude problem. We can't have people like that working here. These are customers, people who live in the neighborhood. We want them to come back. We can't have employees being rude to them."
"Wow. Jerry, you know me better than that. I would NEVER be rude to a customer. As far as complaining about them not tipping me...it would make me uncomfortable to say something to them about it. You know me better than that." I am floored. I wasn't happy about the way the party had turned out, but I felt I had handled it with my usual attitude. I have never been told I had an attitude problem with a customer. I know better than that!
"Well, we can't have that here. I've let girls go for that. You can't be rude to customers."
"Jerry, you know me better than that. I usually get compliments, not complaints. I admit that I was joking around about not making any money. One of the people from that party probably overheard me. I am very sorry that happened and I assure you it never will again. I will be more careful in the future. But I promise you I was not rude to anyone last night and I really don't feel that I had an attitude problem."
At that point my barback let me know that someone at the bar needed a drink and I returned to the bar nearly in tears. I got a beer for the customer and excused myself. I stepped outside to clear my head and my eyes.
The rest of the day went quickly, though I was fighting back tears for 2 hours after the talk with Jerry. Several times during the day I was told that I was "on top of my game" for offering another drink when one was almost gone. One customer, who had been gone for 3 weeks, told me that he had missed my smile and was happy to see it again. These are the comments I am accustomed to hearing, not that I have an attitude problem.
I managed to make it home before I broke down. I guess I thought my managers thought more highly of me than to believe I would treat customers in that manner. I believed that I was thought to be a good employee. I realize that there may be other factors that contributed to the view of my actions the night before. I know that I was not rude and did not have an attitude with the customers. I'm embarassed that I made the huge mistake of mentioning tips within hearing range of the customers, but don't believe that was the only perceived problem. What the hell happened??? I guess I am not the valued employee I thought I was...

Are you a grown up?

I have cut down my hours at the Bar so my run-ins with diners have been restricted. I did, however, have the supreme luck of running into the type of diner that makes servers want to spit in their food, serve them things that have been dropped on the floor, etc. This encounter lasted a mere 45 seconds.
The lunch rush of the day consisted of 7 tables coming in at noon and closing out their tabs at one; all at once. As I was at the register closing the last tab, two guys, who looked like grown up adults, walked in. My boss, who was at the front on the phone, grabbed two menus and handed them to me. I took them with one hand and continued to hit the proper buttons on the screen to close the check I was handling.
"Can we just sit?" asked one of the guys.
"I'll be happy to seat you in just a second." I say flashing him my customer service smile as I hit the last button needed to close the check.
"One second, OK?" I say, again smiling, as I walk 3 feet away to grab two sets of silverware. None of the tables had been reset since the tables were vacated seconds before. As I walk the 3 feet back to the guys at the register I confirm the number of people in their party.
"Just the two of you today?" I ask.
"You know what, forget it." one of them says. They turn around and walk out the door.
They were obviously upset at having to wait seconds to be seated and did not understand why they could not be seated the second they walked in the door. While the Bar only runs a one person floor and there is no need to worry about who's next up to get a table, we do ask that customers wait to be seated when dining in the restaurant area. This serves many purposes, one of which is to make sure each party is seated at a table that has been cleaned and set. True, there would have been little harm in letting them seat themselves, but they would have waited for me just the same, even longer. There was little harm in having them wait.
Is this a case of poor customer service on my part? Simply impatient customers? I can't imagine they were in a hurry since they left to go elsewhere (I assume), which just took more time than waiting 30 seconds.
Well, to the guys that are not grown up enough to wait their turn, the women who run their waitress for lemons for their water, and the people who do not tip the server or bartender (or only tip the bar) at an open bar party, I have my eye on you.
I am done being treated like a lower life form by customers. I will continue to provide excellent customer service and dining experience to those who treat me like a person. I will continue to do my best in all cases where I am being treated with respect. Not too much to ask for right? In all other cases I will not be rude, but I will not smile and eat shit. Should be interesting...

Holidays are Hell at a Bar

Another party on a Friday. This one was booked for 20 people so we set up the back of the dining room for 25. The host arrived on time and the rest trickled in over the next hour. While they were arriving I was caring for a party on the other side; a group of 14 after work impromptu drinkers. As with all big groups, none of them could get it together and after returning with the drinks that two of them had ordered, another had decided she needed a drink. Upon returning with that, two more needed drinks. Gotta love running the server.
I was not instructed on how the party in the dining room would be handling the tab, so I asked the host. He got surprisingly agitated and informed me that he would not be paying for everyone to drink. Only what he ordered was to go on his tab. I ended up with 15 separate tabs for the 30 people that showed up. Several people were paying cash. The whole thing was almost more frustrating than the previous party of 80.
At first they stayed at their tables. We added a two more tables when the party reached over 25 people. I had a table of three in another part of the “L” shaped dining room eating dinner and enjoying a few drinks. After a few rounds the members of the party lost all inhibitions and began migrating towards the diners. The whole thing was like a storm. They began in the back and, one that table was messy with plates and empty cups and bottles, they moved to a clean table. The group was so dense that I gave up trying to buss the dirty tables. I could not get through the group without being asked for a drink. When I wasn’t bringing drinks to them, they ignored my presence and refused to budge their fat drunk asses from my path so I could clean the tables.
Eventually, my diners left due to being surrounded by a large group of loud drunks. My party on the bar side evidentially forgot they had a tab with me and began paying cash at the bar. I closed out their tab before they could decide to leave. The tip was minimal but the lessening of my frustration made the trade worth it.
Finally, after several hours of drinking, some of the tabs began to close out. I was left with three hours to go and a group of the most unruly of the party-goers. During the remainder of their time there several friends of the group arrived and sat at a table, shielded by their friends who were standing around the last of the clean tables in the dining room. I brought them their first round which they sucked down like it had been months since they tasted alcohol. As I attempted to get back to them to take an order for a second round, less than 10 minutes after the first, I was blocked by their thirsty friends demanding drinks. My thought process with this was if I could get their drinks quickly, they would let me through to the new comers. When I made it to them they looked at me like it had been an hour since they had seen me.
“We thought you forgot ‘bout us.” Said one woman with a particularly unattractive pout.
“No. I’m sorry. I was getting a round for your friends.”
“Well we’ve needed a round for a long time now. Go get it. Same as before.”
“Ok. I will be right back.”
As I turned to retrieve drinks, they stopped me and changed their order three times. When I finally got to the bar with their order a man from the larger crowd came up to me to order food for the grumpies. This provoked the rest of the large group to order food including my least favorite thing to serve to a group of drunken people, saganaki. After they had all been fed, they closed out and left. I was beyond relief. While cleaning the mess they had left in the dining room I discovered that no tip had been left by anyone paying cash. Should I have been surprised?

Serving the Boys in Blue

Several Fridays ago I experienced the worst of all holiday parties. It was a Christmas party but they refused to call it such (I feel your pain Banquet Manager).
A week before the event I was enjoying an after shift drink and overheard one of the party planners telling my boss about the party. Some people attending thought the cover was too steep, that they should receive more drink tickets, and wondered if the cover included tip for the waitress. A red flag and a loud alarm went off in my head. This was an 80 person party on a Friday night that would close my entire dining room and they were concerned about having to tip the waitress on top of paying the cover?
Finally the fateful night arrived. It was snowing and the bar was almost empty at 5. "At least we know it will be busy later," my bartender says.
At 7:30 the first couple for the party arrives. They want to wait for others before they pay their cover and receive their drink tickets so they paid cash for a drink. No tip. At 8:00 on the dot they asked me if they could start ordering and give the tickets later.
"I'm afraid I need to exchange the tickets with the bar to get the drink. You can get them from my manager. He's at the front register." I replied.
"Can you go get them for me?" The guy asked with a roll of his eyes.
"I'm sorry but no. I'll see if he can come over though." I said and turned to find the man in charge of tickets.
Eventually the couple got their tickets and their drinks,still no tip.
Shortly after 8 the rest of the party started trickling in. The dining room filled up within an hour and left very little room for walking and serving, but I did my best. There were several people who gave me a dollar for every round I brought, whether it was one drink or five, but most gave nothing. After two hours of this, majority of them were nicely buzzed and decided they needed to rearrange the tables.
While taking a drink order from a nontipping group at an unmovable booth, I was bumped by a table being dragged across the floor. When I turned, there was a long table set up behind me. As I weaved through the new floorplan of the room I realized continuing to serve this group was going to be extremely difficult.
Cause and effect. I was quick at retrieving drinks from the bar because I pour them myself. The bar and I have an agreement; I keep my tip out to her and get my own drinks, she only has to worry about her own customers. It's a good system, especially when we're busy. Unfortunately, delivering the drinks was not as quick and easy. Weaving through the dining room meant orders being called out to me at random by people I wasn't looking at. If I wasn't looking at them, I didn't know who to bring the drink to. I did my best, but it all got a bit confusing.
Eventually, some of the group decided to go to the bar for their drinks. The best spot at the bar to stand,they decided, was the server station and the opening to the bar. We had a crowd five deep standing in the very path I needed to walk to get to the bar. There was even people standing slightly behind the bar blocking the entrance. Every time I went in I had to say "Excuse me" to have them mover a quarter of an inch. When I had my drinks and was exiting, again I had to say "Excuse me".
This continued for another three hours. Because of this large crowd, the manager had to come behind the bar and serve only this group. Several of them made comments about how I would not help them, to which I sweetly replied that I was only allowed to get drinks for my tables. In the time it took for one guy to get his drink from my manager, I had taken four rounds out to the tables.
At the end of the night I had made less than $2 per person for six hours of running-my-ass-off service. My coat, hung in the server area (the walkway for employees between the dining room and bar), had been spilled on. Our regular bar customers had left hours before we closed because the party group was "taking over" the place.
Next year, if this group returns, I'm going to suggest setting up a bar on the dining room side, 86 the server, and add a $3 charge per person to the cover as tip. Wishful thinking, I know.

Update: Hand That Tips

I spoke with one of the managers and they gave me permission to be as rude as I feel I need to be to this guy. Unfortunately, I am not a confrontational person so I have been brainstorming ways to get it to stop passively. The girls at work have agreed to get in on the plan.
I am friendly with a few of the regulars, and one of them came up with the idea that we should just let him think we are dating. Comments have been made in front of the problem customer and after one day there are no more obscene gestures or touching. Let's hope this lasts.
I know it may not be the most mature way to handle the situation, but atleast no one is getting yelled at or made to feel uncomfortable. Other customers don't need to see me get lippy with the guy.