Thursday, July 23, 2009

Spray-on Tattoos

I love people who seat themselves in an empty section or the outdoor patio, after walking right by the “Please wait to be seated” sign. I always drop menus by when I see them and take a drink order, but sometimes it takes a few minutes for me to see them sitting there.

Today I had a lady seat herself on the patio at a dirty table; the only dirty table. When I saw her I brought two menus. Since she was on the phone I walked away to take care of my other tables. When someone joined her I went back to get a drink order. Upon bringing their drinks the following conversation ensued…

Man (to me):”We’re ready to order.” Turns to woman “Are you ready to order?”
Woman: “I’m not sure. What’s pizza bread?”
Me: “It’s French bread baked in the pizza oven with sauce and cheese.”
Woman: “Oh. It has sauce? I don’t know. Go ahead and order I can decide later.”
Man: “There’s Sauce on the pizza burger?”
Me: “Yes, everything that is listed in the menu is on the burger. We can leave something off if you want.”
Man: “I don’t know what burger I want. I know I want a burger, but which one?”

After me standing there for almost two minutes in awkward silence, they finally ordered; pizza bread and a pizza burger.

At the same time I had this table, I had another who asked to be seated at a table. As soon as I placed the menus down they asked to move to a booth. As I reached the booth I was going to seat them at, they asked to sit on the patio. Upon taking their drink order one of the men proceeded to ask me if my tattoos were “spray on”. I looked at him and paused before answering “Yes” with a silly grin to show I was joking. I walked inside as his question of “How much did they cost?” was drowned out by an airplane going overhead. He thought I was serious. Later he asked again how much my spray on tattoos cost me. I told him I didn’t know and that mine were real. He gave me a shocked look and reached out to touch one of my tattoos. I pulled away quickly so he was not able to make contact. He continued to point, however, and asked if one after another were real. I replied “Yes, they are all real” to each question. I don't know anyone over the age of 10 who has a temporary tattoo. I'm a little old for that. How old do these people think I am?

The best thing about lunch shifts is that they are short and rarely do people sit for longer than an hour.

6 comments:

Justthe said...

Lol why would he think they were spray on though?

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

Thank heavens these people didn't sit too long ,eh?

purplegirl said...

He was probably just one of those jerks who lives under a rock and still thinks tattoos are scandalous and dirty. :)

eternalcarryoutgirl said...

Don't you love people who pretend they're ready to order? I certainly do not have fantasies of reaching through the phone to strangle them as they stand, slack-jawed, waiting for their spouses to decide whether they want their potatoes mashed or baked.

AK said...

LOL what. That's just weird- it's funny how most customers don't want anything to do with you, but the occasional one is wayyy too interested.

Lone Waitress said...

Eternal COG, I despise those calls!